sexuality and the nature of guelph

alright folks, here it is… the banqute for the RA's

brandan accidentally pretending to be a model (on your left)


revenge of the RA's


okay, so my bff yasmine, is a main campus student at guelph and also an RA. however, last night she called sounding all exhausted stating how all her students has taken their toll on her, in fact a lot of them started moving in last week and of course that was when it went downhill for her. in the sense of she can not keep up with them. it hasn't been 3 weeks already and she has witnessed a room going in flames by students who thought vandalizing would be a kick ass thing to do in sheer drunkenness. (lap top on fire, smoke everywhere.) at the time everyone was running away from the smoke, to the smoke, it was madness. also she found some dude past out in the stairwell cold turkey due to consuming way to much of everything. yes, i'm talking alcohol poisoning. the guy was like literally dead. good to know he came out fine after the paramedics had to be called in, jerk. and her neverending process of booking students for drinking in the hallways, knowing full well that you absoutely can not drink open substance (alcohol) on your floor. what? by daring yourself to become an idiot because you were informed time and time again not to drink on your floor and yet you do. instead, seek it, learn it, arm yourself with kool aid and knowledge and amazing sex and love and health until you're so full of it you don't have RA's on your ass because really it's fucking annoying but actually relatively cool because my girlfriend has the sickest job like ever; power and fucking control kids. at guelph every floor has some sort of setup where RA's patrol every floor so you are bound to get booked. stop being lame and just drink in your rooms, right? right.

well, buck up, jacko. it could be worse. you could be michael jackson. or janet jackson. or nancy grace. you could be anne coulter or bill o'reilly or trent lott, people whose souls have become so infested with rat dung that their third eye is brown. you are just an RA, be glad. see? feel better already.

now, as everyone probably knows, i am not exactly seeing anyone right now. and a bunch of people are like always trying to hook me up with someone they know. no GAH. anyway, the pictures above tells you a story about a boy in whom i like a lot. and just wanted to give it mention. also it should be noted my hubby is also an RA at guelph ;)

he is my potential boyfriend like i have this overwhelming nostalgic desire to just be around brandan all the time. holy fuck, is he not a mixture of cillian murphy and tyson ritter, like i knooowww. yummy.

bye. forever.

growth

seriously where is my dedication? yes, my dedication to the blogger world and it's readers, like, don't you love it when weeks pass without updates? i can't make excuses for my laziness ...but i can try. anywho, life has been somewhat weird for me since the last time i have been on here. things are somewhat emotional for me in the sense of i am now 21 and i feel old already and it feels like there is so much that i have not done that i should have done long time ago. i have a serious complex about my age. i never used to, and i wish i really didn't give a shit, but i can't stop being concerned with "feeling old" i realize that in the grand scheme of things, 21 is young, and actually, quite the ideal age. however, i feel like i have not done anything that has justified my age; 21 feels more powerful than i.

anywho, i started a new job it's been like one week so far and i'm already starting to despise it. i am trying to get my mind around the concept that i've already started working in toronto (the big city) living out of the suitcase (and by "suitcase," i mean my general term for smalltown + girl + london + deprivation. toronto scares me.)

so what's been up? this evening my girlfriend and i were chilling at second cup, drinking our espresso coffee at the outdoor patio and guess who we saw stroll by us? fefe dobson no.fucking.way. yes.fucking.way.bitches, she was not even a feet away from where we were sitting. also, it should be noted that she was accompanied by a friend or so it seems, anywho the only reason to why i happened to notice fefe was due to her friend only because said friend has this unique rather fascinating wardrobe it was of something feirce. punk mix with elegance and after i practically raped said friend with my eyes i decided she needed a rest and so i gave fefe a quick look-see (at the time i did not know it was fefe dobson) oh and of course she too looked gorgeous herself. what ever happened to her anyway? it was funny cause afterwards one of the employees at the second cup was saying she too saw fefe just the other day walking by her house and so she screamed from her window "fefe, i need some money." and apparently the canadian star gave her a cut-eye. i found that rather amusing. quite funny i must say.

as a sidenote, if you're looking for a place to people watch, university ave hosts many types for all to watch. the place was packed and exciting today.

also, remember the boy in whom i have openly talked about on here a few times? well guess what...? two months ago he decides to tell me on via hotmail that he no longer wants anything to do with me seeing how he started dating his best female friend, y------. (i somewhat knew it was coming; guys and girls can never be friends. end of discussion). when i had gotten said email i was like "holy shiznet what a blow?" and so i did what my morals taught me and that was to stay away and so i did. like, what he basically stated on the email was that he does not want to be put in a situation where he has to explain to his girlfriend about me and of our long talks on the phone. wtf? which obviously entailed to him not calling me anymore. he also stated that the only way we could connect would be through emails/msn only - no.fucking.way, he was putting the interweb as a sheild between us?! talk about being completely rejected. i read the email not once or twice. seeing, how i could not understand it. it made me cry. well, actually, that's a big fat lie. i didn't cry. i just couldn't understand it. so i read it again and again. i called him wishing he would pick up so i would understand why he was doing this to me. he didn't pick up knowing it was obviously me calling. i held on the phone waiting for blood to flow back to my fingers.

i'm angry at my naivity. sweet pillow talk "f-----, i think your interesting and i feel very comfortable talking to you." never would i have thought he from all people would put me in such a place, a place where i did not belong nor felt like i needed to be. totally unnecessary. "i need to find myself" he would say, "i don't want any commitments" and yet there you go fucking your best gal pal?

c----, baby, find yourself. what a silly endeavour, you're right there. you are always changing. find yourself by yourself. make your decisions, choose what you want and work for it. i was willing, and you were scared.

"my girlfriend and i decided to see other people" he writes on via msn. i was stunned. pray tell, an ironic sentence, not? i was confused and yet excited. excited that he wrote me, therefore, i wrote him back. i had missed him. i miss him. and that was what he had written me yesterday

not to sure why he is running back to me, perhaps, we all deserve a second chance, no? but i realise that my amazing friends were all here when he wasn't and when i had told them he and i are now talking they were not happy. i don't need to seek out his.

and yet without realizing ... i do.